Valentine Chaos
by Black-Order-Acrobats
Summary: When Valentine's Day comes along and the Order is blissfully unaware, how will Lavi respond to the urgent dilemma, and will he survive the wrath of Kanda and Komui?


"Ahh, they're perfect~" Lavi crooned happily, setting his pen aside and looking over the wide-spread array of papers on his desk. He looked up at the clock on the wall just as the minute hand clattered into place over the elegant 12, marking the time as 7am sharp.

"And just in time, too." He grinned mischievously, gathering up the heart-shaped scraps and prancing from the room much like an excited child.

"Happy Valentine's Day~"

/

Allen woke up a little past seven fifteen, stumbling over to the door, ready to march into the kitchen an order a few platefuls of food to appease his growling stomach. As he reached for the door handle, a sliver of pink paper was showing from under the doorway. He reached down to pick it up, trying to read the elegant writing:

To: Allen Walker~

You've opened this card

I opened my heart

Now lie on your back

And pull your legs apart

Allen looked at the words on the paper in a mix of shock and dismay, rubbing his eyes and rereading it. "W-what?" he mumbled, his face turning a deep shade of red as he skimmed over the Valentine for a third time. Flipping it over, he frantically searched for the sender of the note. "W-who would send this to me?" he murmured, opening the door to look timidly out the hallway.

/

Lenalee had just finished buttoning up her exorcist uniform when she noticed the pink slip of paper on her floor for the first time. She smiled a bit, be it a bit confusedly, and tugged her long white socks on before padding across the room to gather up the little heart-shaped scrap. She frowned as she looked over the paper to find a signature and found nothing, merely a neat scribbling of words:

To: Lenalee~

Roses are red

Violets are blue

If you were a pier

I would dock you

She gasped and flushed a rather embarrassing shade of bright red. "W-who...?" she stammered, her hand trembling so badly from shock that she dropped the Valentine. "I-I..." She trailed off, swallowing hard, and dashed across the room to pull her red innocence shoes onto her feet. She then hurried from the room with a clattering of her heels on the floor, rushing to her brother's room in a cloud of shock and confusion.

/

Kanda woke up to the sound of shuffling footsteps and a giggle outside his room. He sat up with a grumble, reaching across the bed to grab Mugen's hilt and sliding to his feet. Storming over to the door, he readied the sword to stab it through the wooden door and into the unlucky gut of the person who woke him. The rustling of paper made him hesitate, and he glanced down at the floor to look over the hideously-shaped scrap between his feet. "What...the hell?" he muttered, kneeling to grasp the blindingly pink paper and lift it to his eyes. He nearly dropped Mugen. "W-what..." he sputtered, his face going red. "Baka...BAKA USAGI." He kicked the door open in a very Kanda-esque manner, searching the empty hallway and letting loose a cry of rage.

/

Allen entered the cafeteria, and immediately noticed something different. The tables were buzzing with energy, as each person compared little pink notes. So it wasn't just me... his slightly pink face returned to a normal color as he looked around the room with confused amusement. Nearly every exorcist in the Order, and the Science Division... That was a lot of valentines... Who on earth could write that many?

"A-Allen?" Johnny called out, waving his pink heart. "Did you get one too?" He gave the exorcist his note, blushing slightly. "It seems like everyone got them... but they're all different..."

Blushing in reply, Allen looked at Johnny's note. It was slightly embarrassing, but nothing as bad as his. Why did my stupid Valentine have to be so perverted? He was suddenly glad that he'd left his in his room.

"Allen!" Lenalee called, running over to the white-haired exorcist. She bent over slightly when she reached him and Johnny, catching her breath. "Sorry, I hurried here from Komui's office. I'm a little short of air," she said with an apologetic smile. She paused and glanced around as she noticed the murmuring of confusion and annoyance for the first time. "What...? Did everyone get weird Valentines?" she asked confusedly.

Allen behind Lenalee's shoulder, staring at the scientist marching towards them with a very large and frightening drill in his hands. "Y-Yeah... everyone got them..."

Komui had reached them now, a frighteningly grim smile on his face, "Happy Valentine's Day, have any of you sent out Valentines yet?"

Allen chuckled nervously. "A-ah...no, no, of course not-"

"BAKA USAGI."

"Ahhhh Yu-chan! I just bought this scarf!" Lavi whined, abandoning the torn red fabric and fleeing through the cafeteria, dodging exorcists and finders and leaping over tables to escape Mugen.

"USAGI. Never call me by that name!" Kanda raged, nearly slicing off an unlucky finder's head as Lavi ducked underneath Mugen's blade. "I'll cut you in half for that disgusting Valentine!"

Lavi laughed in a terrified glee as he dove underneath a table to evade another swipe from Mugen. He rolled to his feet on the other side, only to bump into Lenalee. "Ahhh Lenalee! Did you enjoy your Valentine?" he asked with a breathless grin.

"L-Lavi-" Allen mumbled, shocked. But then again, it wasn't that surprising. Of course he wrote them. The red returned to his cheeks.

"You sent my Lenalee a Valentine?" Komui murmured threateningly, wielding his drill.

Lavi froze mid-sentence with his mouth still hanging open. "A-ahhhh Komui-san! I think I'll just be going now-"

"USAGI."

Lavi yelped in fright as Mugen nearly took his nose off, fleeing across the room as the two older men followed in close pursuit. "Ow, ow, ow!" he cried out as Mugen clipped his side. "Yu-channnn, cut it out! It was only a Valentine!"

"Hold still so I can kill you!" Kanda growled, chasing the Bookman successor through the room and back out into the hall, where a few explosions and crashes could be heard over Lavi's fearful cries.

A mixture of groans and laughter flooded the room, as everyone looked around careful to ignore the screams coming from the hallway. Reever looked down at his Valentine, rereading it with a slight chuckle before tearing it into small pieces. Soon other people followed suit, and the floor was gradually littered with pink scraps.

Allen looked towards Lenalee, both of them equally red with embarrassment, "Great Valentine's Day, huh?" he said with a small grin, looking around at the havoc Lavi had wreaked.

Lenalee laughed as she tore up her own heart-shaped scrap of paper as well. "Let's go get some chocolate from Jerry-san," she offered, taking Allen's hand and tugging him gently across the room as the screams from the hallway faded into the distance.


End file.
